01 May Divorce Aspirations
When you are going through the pain of a divorce or separation it is sometimes hard to imagine a future where the hurt and the pain is a distant memory. To guide you through the tough times it may be helpful to commit aspirations that may keep you on track to that amicable divorce you want to achieve.
The following are ideas that may assist you in creating your own aspirations checklist:
At the end of my divorce, I want the following to be true:
- I was honest and had integrity throughout the entire process;
- My former spouse and I were kind to each other;
- My children are supported by two parents who are able to cooperate in co-parenting;
- We did not need to go to Court to settle our differences;
- We spent as little money as possible on our separation process and preserved our assets for ourselves and our children rather than paying for expensive litigation;
- My former spouse and I were fair to each other in the division of our assets and resources;
- I respect my former spouse;
- My relationship with my former spouse is friendly, civil and respectful;
- My children were not exposed to conflict between their parents;
- I was responsible for my own feelings and I took responsibility for my own behaviour.
- I will make sure my aspirations come true by:
- Taking an acting on advice from sensible, collaborative professionals;
- I will make my children’s interests my paramount concern;
- I will look forward to a positive future focus rather than being bogged down in the past;
- I will strive to create options and solutions that are a win/win for myself, my former spouse and my family;
- I will seek assistance from counsellors or therapists to help me manage my emotions;
- I will remind myself of my aspirations if I feel myself reverting to blaming and shaming my former spouse.